All the Reasons You're Unemployed

A Medium post showed up in my inbox. I was job hunting, and saw a strong parallel.

Edit 1: Before reading my parallel, I’ve been told it’s probably a good idea to read the original Medium article.

Edit2: And before you can read that original post, you need to find it. Here’s a “wayback” that doesn’t actually have the full original content. Medium seems like they’re a contributor to link rot. Let me know if you find the original somewhere.

All the reasons you’re unemployed

The job search: it’s a heavy psychological challenge, much like being on the dating market.

Reasons You‘re Unemployed Despite Being a Hottie

You’re a strong, educated, kickass worker who has a lot to give the ideal company in terms of potential. Everything is fine except for the fact that you cannot manage to find it. And you have no idea why you’re unemployed as hell. Fear not; there is a simple answer for this.

1. There aren’t many companies willing to commit.

Almost every company you meet is looking for a casual connection with no commitments, such as a contract gig or a freelance engagement. You’re in it for the long haul, so anything less isn’t an option.

2. Your self-assurance intimidates a lot of companies.

You’re well aware of your capability, and you’re not going to try to hide it. You’re not arrogant, but you’re also not afraid to admit that you have a lot to offer. You’re an employee with a clear vision of what you want in life, and you’re determined to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, some companies are unable to handle it. It’s a shame!

3. Right now, you’re focusing on yourself.

For the time being, you’re not interested in working since you’re too busy trying to be the best version of yourself to find a firm to share your working life with. Knowing that you must be a decent person to be a good worker, you’ve decided to put your efforts in that direction right now.

4. You are complete on your own, without a manager.

It’d be lovely to have a manager, but that’s more of a luxury than a necessity. In other words, you’re complete on your own and don’t need to worry about finding your “business unit leader.” Any boss you end up with will complement you rather than complete you.

5. You’ve already got a lot on your plate living your fabulous life.

You’re blessed with a successful career, amazing friends and family, a diverse range of interests, and a never-ending supply of leisure activities. When there’s so much to see, do, and meet in the big wide world, who has time for work?

6. You love being unemployed.

The feeling of being able to do anything one wants whenever one wants without consulting anyone else is unparalleled. It feels great to be self-centered, and while you know this won’t last forever, you wouldn’t trade the moment for anything in the world. Who are you to blame? The freedom that comes with being a self-directed worker is fantastic.

7. You will not accept anything less than what you deserve.

You have the rest of your life ahead of you, which means you have plenty of time to find a wonderful company. Why would you settle for anything less than the best when you know that the greatest is out there and that you are deserving of it? Whatever the length of time it takes, you’re satisfied to carry on with your life until it happens.

Interestingly, drawing the parallel between the nature of dating and the job search was a worthwhile experiment. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.